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Welcome
to the Bender |
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Family Near & Far
Favorite Links Caliente Restaurant in Richmond, VA
New Jersey
Scuba Diving Website and Forum Hopewell Elementary School PTO forum
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Breaking News January
20, 2010 January 12,
2010 Ruth
was on he way to a wedding in Virgin Gorda, and decided to spend a few days
in Haiti. Unfortunately for her, she was there when the earthquake hit
on January 12th, and was stuck in the small city of Jacmel, on the southern
coast. She still had internet access, so we were able to communicate
with her via facebook. Her write-ups on facebook made their way to the
CNN ireport, and also to travel & leisure's website. She even got
interviewed by CNN via her laptop on skype. She was able to get a flight out on a
small private plane from Jacmel on the 16th. In typical Ruth fashion,
she even made the wedding
in Virgin Gorda without skipping a beat. We were all so relieved to get her out of there!
CNN
iReport
It was a road worth traveling...
Yesterday I finished EMT class.
It was one hundred and twenty hours of classroom time, twelve hours
of hands on time in an emergency room and numerous rides in the back
of an ambulance hoping not to get in the way and actually help.
I started class after my husband joined the fire department and I listened to his pager go off time after time for medical emergencies. There were times I would listen to the calls, go out not just once, but twice, knowing that there was some family member worried, even terrified, enough to pick up the phone and call 9-1-1. There were times, even for heart attacks (now known as cardiac arrests, myocardial infarctions or perhaps ventricular fibrillations) it still took ten minutes before an ambulance would roll out of its bay. These were the times where it actually brought me to tears. I would actually feel sick. As a girl who has grandparents that are almost ninety, and have been recent patients themselves, I could actually feel the panic as I waited for the squad to sign-on and be on their way. I would actually picture, in my mind, panicked family members waiting for that rig to pull into their driveway while their loved one deteriorated in front of their eyes and there was nothing they could do. Luckily, in my forty-two years I have only had to call 9-1-1 once in my life. For those of you that never have, I can tell you that it is a totally helpless feeling, especially for those of us, like myself, that felt like we could handle anything that came down the pike. It's truly and utterly awful. Luckily enough, it was while I lived here in the valley, on a Thanksgiving evening some three or four years ago. Some of the best Hopewell has to offer were in my house with paramedics at the end of my driveway. It cannot tell you the relief I felt to know that my then eighty-two year old visitor was getting the best care that even money couldn't buy. It was a changing moment for me. You might think, depending where you live, that waiting ten minutes or even fifteen minutes for an ambulance to be in your driveway from the time you call is an anomaly. It's not. I have had the privilege of riding with some of the most caring, wonderful, and good care givers you could ask for. It's not them. It's all of those who could lend a hand to help others but find reasons not to. Too tired? Yup, sometimes EMU crews are that. They're got real jobs, children, spouses, problems, school, yard work and extended families to tend to as well. Too busy? Our members have some of the busiest lives I know tending after many priorities in their own lives. Some members are also firemen, police officers and nurses. Some others like me are just moms, wives, neighbors and people who care about their community and the people in it. Can't handle blood and vomit? I know plenty of EMT's that feel that way, including one of my instructors. She readily admits vomit is not her thing, but I've got to tell you -- if I go down some day or if one of my children are injured I want her there (you know who you are). From personal experience though, if someone is in pain that's your focus. You don't even have time to worry about anything expect doing your patient assessment, taking whatever interventions are necessary, and hoofing it to the hospital. My personal favorite is, "It's not for me." Then for who, really, is it for? I don't know a single EMT who actually enjoys seeing patients who are sick, injured, and scared. It's those very descriptions that drive them to help. I am particularly amused by members of my own community that do not realize that our fire department and emergency medical unit are VOLUNTEER. Normal people with busy, chaotic lives who jump out of bed in the middle of the night, from the dinner table on holidays, from family celebrations and run at the sound of the siren because they're compelled by a sense of community and a desire to help. Due to lack of daytime weekday volunteers our valley has a small crew of paid firefighters/EMT's who help us hold it all together. They have been wonderful at helping me become familiar with book v. street practice and what it means to give good care -- really good care. My hope it that I can get as good at it as one of them. Think you're too young or too old to offer your help? The youngest member of my EMT class was 16. The oldest this time around was probably well into his fifties. The thirty-seven people that finished yesterday, and will be putting out their hand to help those who need it the most, are one of the most eclectic groups I've ever been a part of. I can assure you that we had every race, color, creed, age, occupation, socioeconomic cross-section could could imagine. One thing in common? They all care about others. Learning what was required of us was a joint effort. We had some of the most amazing men and women who spend their "down" time teaching so more will be able to help those most in need. They taught us, yelled at us, scared us, demanded all we had to give them. They did this all while they supported us, encouraged us, celebrated accomplishments with us and gave us the confidence to treat those who need help with kindness, consideration, knowledge and professionalism. I will never forget one of my instructors yell at one of the young men as we practiced trauma assessment, "There is no sex in assessment! You need to touch her to figure out what's wrong!" He looked up at her and said, "I was raised to not touch a female THERE." Eventually he did...and we ALL smiled. He got it and THAT was good... We, as a group, had many "AH HA!" moments. Many times I looked around and watched, with my own eyes, one classmate helping another master a task they were struggling with. The relationships started there. We learned who knew what, who we could ask for help, who WE needed to help and how to make sure we all ended up as one big family. That alone was a gift. I have made lifetime friendships from this class with people who really understand what's important -- one person helping another. So you might be asking yourself why did she write this note? The answer is simple. Volunteer. Take the time. Help yourself. Reach out to your community. Teach your children how by showing them by example. If you really, really can't...and I mean REALLY -- write a big, fat check to your VOLUNTEER emergency services departments. Help them help you. It costs money to provide training, keep rigs in good repair, buy things like backboards, bandages, suction devices, oxygen, stair chairs and KEDS. Don't know what a KED is? Become an EMT -- you'll learn. I did. You want your local squads to have the best equipment and training when you call them. I know I do. It could be for your mother, father, sister, brother, child, neighbor or the stranger in the car in front of you who just hit a pole while texting. Point is - it's not cheap so dig deep. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Make sure to say a prayer and a quick thank you to those that give their time. I know I will. You never know when it will be you dialing 9-1-1 and hoping to see those red lights and sirens come towards your house. Things happen when we least expect it. I hope to join their ranks when I take my state exam next Wednesday. It has ended up meaning a lot more than I ever thought it would. It was definitely a rough road some days. A lot more studying than I had anticipated, some chapters more challenging than I had imagined, but worthwhile lessons along the way -- really worthwhile. Thanks to all who were a part of this road, whether it was a big part or seemingly insignificant. No part was unnoticed or unappreciated. You helped pave this road for me and for that I will be forever grateful. August 23,
2009 It's been way too long since we've updated this site. Much has happened since the last update. Steve & Phyllis are moving to Chapel Hill, NC, Mike got promoted to Sergeant, and he graduated from the fire academy first in his class. Victoria is heading off to her Junior year of college, Tyler will be a Junior in high school, Lizzy is going into 5th grade, and Katharine is starting 1st grade. Lola turned 4, and Noah Hudson is learning how to be a Bender boy (aka....David is getting "payback"). Dave & Courtney are still running the restaurant in Richmond, and the outdoor patio is doing well. Ruth is still working for the Tides Foundation, and Lauren is doing whatever Lauren does. September
1, 2008 With the
return of Victoria to Chestnut Hill college August 24th, the impending
return to school for Elisabeth and Tyler, and Katharine's excitement for the
start of kindergarten the summer is officially over for the Bender kids. August 16,
2008
August 9,
2008 June 18,
2008
April 11,
2008
March 7, 2008 March 5,
2008 March 5,
2008 March 3, 2008 February 26,
2008 |
2010 January 4 - Victoria's Birthday January 17 - Steve's Birthday February 21 - Rogie's Birthday March 14 - Florence's Birthday March 20 - Elisabeth's Birthday April 11 -
Mike's Birthday May 24 - Lauren Bender's Birthday June 19 - Jennifer Jefferis' Birthday June 20 - Martin's Birthday August 5 - Dave's Birthday August 9 - Steve and Phyllis' wedding anniversary August 15 - Katharine's Birthday August 28 - Carolyn's Birthday August 31 - Florence & Watson's 68th Wedding anniversary August 31 - Lola's Birthday September 20 - Rogie & Martin's anniversary September 25 - Tyler's Birthday November 29 - Ruth's Birthday November 30 - Mike & Carolyn's anniversary December 20 - Courtney's birthday
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Website designed by Mike and Carolyn Bender. All rights reserved. 2009.
March 1, 2008
Steve and Phyllis Getting Married
Princeton, NJ - After 22 years of living of sin, Phyllis Davison and Stephen
Bender announced that they were planning on getting married sometime this summer
when they could gather all of their respective children. We are all
awaiting further information from the betrothed couple.